Discharge from the Navy, 1967

 It was 54 years ago, tomorrow, on January 18th that I received my DD 214 (Separation Papers) from the U.S. Navy. It was 10 days earlier than my 4 years enlistment was to expire. My final discharge wouldn't be until 2 years later.  I had passed my 2nd class Petty Officer's test but if I wanted that rate I would have to extend my service a year and go to Vietnam. And further they offered another deal and that was that I'd get double tax free pay but only if I shipped over for four more years instead of just the year's extension.  

What were they nuts? Did they really think that I wanted to do four more years of this nonsense? Did they really think I wanted to go into a war zone.  I saw first hand the Dominican crisis which was a disaster. Anyway I didn't.  I was 22 years old, fit and robust except for a nasty cough that I had developed early mornings upon waking due to smoking 2 sometimes 3 packs of camels a day.  Cigs were going for .90 cents a carton in those days on board the ship. We could buy as many cartons as we wanted underway. And I had bought plenty.  I hoisted my heavy sea bag, it was bitter out and windy, the sun had just risen and I coughed my head off as I walked down the quay to the bus stop almost a half mile away.  The bus took me to Norfolk where I was to get my mustering out physical.     

During my physical they told me that I had a heart murmur and they weren't going to discharge me. What? I know I had a heart murmur when I enlisted. Nobody said anything then. I can go in but I can't get out?  I had to see three Navy doctors and sign about a hundred waivers that if I died they weren't responsible. Anything, I said, I'd even pay you. When I left Norfolk finally I and a couple others going to NY got a ride with a  sailor from my ship who had been a coxswain but had gotten a general discharge for what was termed psychotic behavior. He was no more psychotic than any of us. Just that he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Threatening your Chief Petty Officer over and over was a no no. Eventually you're going get thrown out. 

A couple of weeks after I got home and was looking for a job, a Navy Ensign and a 1st class Machinist Mate showed up at my parents house telling me I have to report to the local station for Reserve service. I shooed them away explaining that I had no interest in the fucking Navy anymore. And I never went. A few months later it was late Spring. I had become anti-war conscious and was impolite to put it nicely to my government and to anyone in the military. I wanted to go on anti-war marches and that year I eventually did.   

But before all that I got a letter from the Department of the Navy that read in the event of a national crisis I was to report to LST something or other at Little Creek, VA. I freaked out because all I saw was "national crisis" and "Report to." I had no self control in those days. I called the reserve station screeching into the phone and the sailor on the other end also freaked out.  An officer came on the line and he asked me very politely to read him the letter word for word. When I did, I finally understood what it meant-- "In the event of." I'm surprised he didn't call me an idiot and he just said "meetings are weekly and weekends are for service." And I said no thanks and I hung up. Oh for God's sake I was only 22. . .    

Excuses for Trump

Excuses for Trump

Why are there excuses made for Donald J. Trump? Supporters and of course GOP operatives and those Republicans in elected office make excuses for Donald Trump. Why? At first it was his lack of experience, they said. But after four years their boot licking and ass kissing is something else. It's akin to the sunk cost fallacy, whereby good money is thrown after bad. So much has been invested and hope springs eternal that the investment will eventually pay off. It just needs a little more money, a little more time, a little more care and commitment. If this investment had been done in private perhaps they' would have come to their senses and abandon the investment in Trump. But it's too late for that. It is all public. To turn away now might destroy the political careers for some. 

But what of his supporters who ride in caravans and go to his rallies. What are their excuses? They must increasingly find ways to prove mainly to themselves that he is greater than anything that has come before and greater than anything that could follow. It is out of the realm of any kind of change, and the anger can not be turned inward, oh what a fool I have been, but only outward toward others who disagree, a lashing out from the failures and the lack of any competence that is always masked as greatness. Their  salvation is to believe the lies.

In their hearts and in their eyes, the man can't be blamed for anything, he has become a hero, an icon and ultimately fetishized. The only thing left for them  to feel exalted is for him to become a martyr. This election loss, will not dissuade them from their heedless worship. Though Donald is not dying as far as I know and will continue to  live on after he is out of the White House, hopefully to be weighed down with criminal charges. However, it will be as if he has been sacrificed on the altar of corruption and evil but like the 2nd coming he will at some point rise again and bring greater reward to all.  In the end it is too painful to admit how wrong they were to place their belief in a man who is as much of a scoundrel as we have seen in politics. Scoundrel may sound archaic and even mild but the definition is that of a dishonorable, unprincipled, mean, base villain.

The tragic murder of Breonna Taylor

I've put together this assessment and opinion based on news reports. I have no other information. The Breonna Taylor legal outcome is as terrible as it can be.  The two police that actually shot her weren't indicted for anything. Another police was indicted for wanton endangerment because he fired blindly and indiscriminately and endangered neighbors though none of his bullets hit Ms. Taylor. He BTW was fired earlier for breaking departmental rules.  What is anyone to make of this? Shouldn't someone be responsible for her death, a woman asleep in the comfort of her own home.  And I add a young black woman who was an honest public servant and shot by white policemen. Is there not a more sad yet incendiary situation given the racial conflict of the past between blacks and whites, particularly, innocent blacks and white police and exacerbated since George Floyd's murder? The Breonna Taylor story precedes that May 25th death. The news story of her death was resurrected as it had occurred in March of this year and unless George Floyd's murder hadn't occurred and all the actions that followed, worldwide I may add, may not have been brought to public attention at all beyond Louisville, KY. 

The story as recounted is that Kenneth Walker, MS. Taylor's boy friend, fearing for their lives because he thought the apartment was being invaded by her previous boyfriend who was a known drug dealer and so he  started firing at the "invaders". One police was hit in the leg.  The police as is their wont fired back. None of the bullets hit Walker but she was shot 6 times and the lady bled to death. The police fired 36 times. As it turned out with the investigation there was nothing illegal happening in the apartment and no drugs. I ask again who should be responsible?

The reason the police were there was because they were issued a no knock warrant for the apartment because Ms. Taylor's boyfriend of two years earlier was thought to be giving Ms. Taylor's  drugs to store for him or that he was still in residence there. The dealer earlier had been seen by a detective handing Ms. Taylor a USPS package at her door. We'll never know what was in that package nor whether or not that actually happened. She had maintained a sort of a distant connection with him as it has been reported but not for anything illegal. In fact the reason they no longer were together was because of his criminality.  So let's think through who is to blame. 

Is the detective who initially asked for a no knock warrant to blame?  I think he is partially because he did not see actual drugs only a postal package.  What about the judge who endorsed the warrant?  Did she actually question the detective's due diligence? Unless we had been flies on the wall we'll never know. What about the the evidence that was presented to the Grand Jury? Unless that document is revealed we won't know.  A prosecutor can skew a case in any direction. This is a young DA who no doubt wants a career and it is common practice among prosecutors to work with and favor the police for obvious reasons. I'm not saying that he intentionally could have skewed the case.  Maybe he just didn't see that evidence led to a prosecution without prejudice.  I certainly don't know.  But the actions of the prosecution should at least be queried.  This should be a case for the the federal DOJ to investigate.  But given who runs the department can we count on that? And what would be the outcome anyway?  

But now we come to the actions of the police at the door.  It is not the first time in the history of policing where an apartment or a house was invaded and the wrong people were arrested, shot or killed.  How many times have the wrong people been "swatted" because of bad information or because someone who wanted revenge on a person called in a false claim?  The police at the door reported they announced themselves and in the report got  corroboration from one neighbor.  Kevin Walker fired at them as they burst in and so they fired back.  How common is that? The police don't know. They're being fired at and they've got a warrant and were warned that the dealer was dangerous.  I can understand why those police weren't charged with anything. They were reacting and doing what was expected of them in their jobs, awful as it was.  

These circumstances are just that circumstances that were due to mistakes, to misunderstanding, to the actions of a justice conglomerate, the war on drugs and possibly the ambitions of zealous prosecutors and we can't eliminate racial intolerance.  How can any of that be actually held to account in this case and have justice served?  

There must be some greater good that comes from this woman's untimely and tragic death. Otherwise all seems in vain and fearsome.  We grieve for this black woman, her family her friends as well as all those innocently beaten, shot or murdered by the wrong or mistaken actions of the police. Black people, white police, it's a very old story. Leaders need to step up and make changes to a system that is geared to oppress, to actually murder the majority, a much higher percentage being brown or black skinned people, while giving a pass to the class of people that controls everything. This issue is bigger than a few cops doing what they think is their jobs, bigger than one city, one state, one government. We have a moral imperative to treat each other as fellow human beings. How will that ever come about if we keep doing the same things over and over?  It's enough to make one desire to crawl into a hole or a cave and never come out.   

As for using logic in this opinion piece to rationalize the outcome of this tragedy, I'll quote a friend: when you use a deodorizer in the toilet to cover up the smell of shit, the smell is in reality still there even if all you smell is the cover up.  

Are the police the sole problem in America?

How do we end the police excessive violence, in so many cases murder towards African Americans in the United States? Big question. And not something that could be answered by me. I know nothing about policing. We have so many different regions of the country and I've mainly been in maybe a handfull of them to compare. Each region is probably different but the following reality is the same all over.

Since I am a white man and for the most part a law abiding citizen I don't really worry about violence towards me by the police as I'm sure others like me feel the same. We were taught as children if you are lost or afraid of something ask a policeman to help. Was that just a fantasy? I don't know I was never in that situation. All I know is that if I see the police I'm not concerned that I am going to be stopped, frisked, arrested or be pinned to the ground by a knee in the back of my neck and suffocated to death just because I am walking or riding my bike while being white. Which brings me to this thought.

Why has policing become as it has, militaristic, and in particular always accusative and angry towards people of color? I can't answer that in general. I can only guess at it. Is it racism? In my experience I have had two family members who were police. Both made no bones about being racist, but they also were suspicious of a culture that has evolved over time from the clearly white dominated culture in America pre Civil Rights. If you've lived as long as I have you know what that was like. It was the norm. "I'm free, white and twenty-one" was the expression on the lips of all the people I have known except for the ones who weren't. That is until it became embarrassing to say. And until you became friends with a black person. I mean friends, a real friend, you'd feel the shame of certain thoughts based on the beliefs that were drummed into your head as you grew up.

But let's turn to the job of being a cop which and though I am unqualified I still have an opinion.

This job can not be easy in any way shape or form. No it isn't ranked as the most dangerous job in America. But it certainly is up there. It's the kind of job where someone might shoot a gun at you. And I'd hazard a guess that out of the thousands who have been protesting and even those grumbling about the protests sitting at home and watching TV would ever don the uniform and become a cop. I know it was never a consideration of mine. Police are only considered heroic when they are the front line workers who come to the aid of a citizenry under attack, say when the towers fell down or some mass shooting. But how often do those things happen? Other times they are the ones who hand out tickets for traffic infractions to angry violaters. How many times have you said or heard: There's never a cop around when you need one? Still they are the ones who get called when an actual crime is in commission or you are frightened by that unusual noise coming from a corner of your house where there shouldn't be a noise. They are seen as someone who comes to your aid or causes you grief. So why would you want that job? Honestly I don't know. I can make assumptions but that is all they are, assumptions. Black Americans don't feel the same for sure as those of us who are white. The police largely create grief and more than 3 times murder for them which has been the point of these demonstrations.

So what is the problem in America? Could it be we have too many guns? And policing has become as it has. Do all the guns create the suspicion that every black person carries a gun and is out to commit a crime? That was the impetus behind "Stop and Frisk." Or when approaching a domestic violent situation in a black neighborhood, (as well as in a poorer white neighborhood) that it is assumed there 's a gun in a house? The policeman responding must be on alert or in a flash he or she could be dead. This must be the case for both white and black cops. How anxiety creating is that? So this is the training: Shoot first if you have to and ask questions later. You will be backed up. You have a union. You have the justice system that will protect you. You have qualified immunity. You get the benefit of the doubt even with body cameras. Even with all that the problem clearly to me anyway is that you are not going to change police culture overnight and so long as we have over 300 million guns owned by citizenry in this county that circumstances will be even slower to change. No easy answers. And solutions are even more difficult.

How is the Pandemic of 1918 different from the Pandemic of 2020?

Things were not so great during the pandemic of a century ago, especially negligent was the federal government and Woodrow Wilson.

The Sedition Act of 1918 (Pub.L. 65–150, 40 Stat. 553, enacted May 16, 1918) was an Act of the United States Congress that extended the Espionage Act of 1917 to cover a broader range of offenses, notably speech and the expression of opinion that cast the government or the war effort in a negative light or interfered with the sale of government bonds. --Wikipedia

Why? Because the federal government wanted to hide the fact that there was a disease infecting the world and ultimately about 650,000 Americans died. The act threatened publication staffs with 20 year sentences for publishing anything about the flu. Writing about it was considered anti-American and damaging to the war effort. The press in the countries that were fighting the war also eschewed writing about the flu. How the pandemic became to be known as the "Spanish Flu" was because people in Spain were getting sick including the King of Spain. Spain was neutral during the war and their press coverage wrote there was a flu affecting not just Spaniards but the world. And that it wasn't just a "grippe" as most press coverage claimed at the time.

Woodrow Wilson did not behave in a way that would be commensurate with what you'd expect given how disasterous and damaging the flu was. Trump may not even be as bad as Wilson was during the pandemic of his time. Trump actually admits there is one. Wilson did not. He got ill during peace negotiations in France and acted completely out of character and seemed "out of his mind" to those who witnessed his behavior. Some historians claim that because of his actions the peace treaty turned out the way it did. You can do with that what you will. (However, there is no excuse for Tump's behavior.)

There is actually very little written about that period of time. Even those who witnessed first hand and survived did not write about it. Personal accounts are scarce.

As we approach 100,000 dead from Covid-19 in just the space of a few months, we need to reflect on the dead this Memorial Day weekend at least long enough to stop cavorting on beaches for a few minutes.

The morbidity of words and phrases

Words.  Phrases.  Sometimes they are just words and phrases. But while the pandemic, plague, epidemic whatever you want to call it words become like tiny cuts. Eventually it leads to death in the mind by a thousand cuts.  

The Words: vacinate, mask, testing, virus, normal, heroes, morbidity, phrases like re-opening the economy, surge capacity, protecting our healthcare workers, lack of leadership, social distance, contact tracing, a vaccine is on the way. There are others of course. They all are on everyone's lips, at least on TV. 

These words and phrases become wearying, full of grief, ponderous. They strike deep within you as your sleep is interrupted by dreams with these words and phrases and you wake up and don't remember that it was those words that disturbed your sleep. We find some other thing to blame. Maybe your spouse, your friend, your partner, your child, your pets or not having any of these you blame yourself. But say you have a child who lives elsewhere.

A sometimes conversation by phone to an adult child.

"How are you doing?"
"OK"  
"You got food?"
"Yes."
"Exercising?"
"Yes."
"Social distancing?"
"Yes."
"Still working from home?
"Yes." 
"Need anything?"
"No." 
"How's P_ _ _ _ _?"
"Good. How are you and K_ _ _ _ _ "
"We're good too." 
"Great."
"Just checking in. Love you."
"Yeah. Same. Thanks. Later."
"Yeah, later."  

What else is there to say, to say what is meaningful, to have an original thought or any other thought than. . . . The words, they cut. The cuts are not deep but are slight, thousands of them and they torture. We are alive but are asked to think of the sick, the dead. The Sick. The dead. The most vulnerable. The end of life. It could be you next. Don't touch that surface. Wash your hands. Look out from your window. Don't forget the heroes. 
                                    * * * 

Last week you were being thoughtful hearing those words. Suddenly today you are in pain, crying out for relief you think but you are in a coma. You feel but no one can see.  Air is being pushed into your lungs by a machine, a ventilator. No you don't feel it only the words spoken of you by others playing the sympathy card for you who are still well, the not yet ill. Or maybe you've had it and didn't know. Anti-bodies, another word.  
                                     * * * 

You wash your hands. Suddenly you feel clean. You sit down. Turn on the TV.  Yes, you still have TV your connection to the outside world, you're grateful you didn't cut the cord. Your mind drifts off for just enough time to remember the phrase "cut the cord." Such better days that was. You're now happy you didn't cut the cord. What a great phrase. And now you think of your old friend, Ray. He never cut the cord either. How you grieved then when he died. But now how glad you are that your old friend died last year. He's not a statistic of this maelstrom. He will always be remembered otherwise.  Oh and the two of you would laugh about everything and everyone. But would we laugh today? What is there to laugh about?  

In most adversity there is always something to laugh about because a quick turn of a phrase can do that. But it's the actual phrases of today that can't be turned anywhere for a joke. They mean what they mean and maybe in ten years there will be laughter. There will be jokes.  Jokes that only the passage of time allows. And the words will go back to the dictionary where they belong and to some ordinary reality. And the phrases they will be forgotten too. There will be new ones. But maybe you won't be around for those.   

My latest political musings

My political musings: The Nazis in Germany and Fascists in Italy (I couldn't say about Spain or Portugal) came to power for a number of reasons. Key among them was propaganda and a worldwide depression. Nazis and fascists are strong words but they are applicable only to history though there are groups trying their best to bring them back officially. So far they are only viewed for the most part with opprobrium. They are not applicable today in the sense that they were in the 1930's. But the commonality is the same in terms of the push towards right wing extremism and authoritarianism. The left countered the right in Germany and in Italy at that time but they failed and were decimated. And it required a world war in the 1940's and the will of the people to end those regimes. The world was so different then politically, culturally, socially, racially, technologically and economically. The left today here in the U.S. varies in their ideology and is not very unified. And it doesn't seem to me that it is any more effective than those activists of the 1930's. However, I won't say it has failed yet. There is very little overt violence of course which helps to limit the force of the right. There are no pitched battles in the streets at this time. Charlottesville in 2017 was, however, quite horrid and worrisome. For now the right has control of the message and they get the media to participate, yes, even the the "objective" main stream media. And currently we are seeing an economic depression but not one brought on by the initial failure of the financial systems. Yet it is possible that things will not spiral out of control. But I can't say it is possible it won't. Notice I can't use the word probable in those two statements. Are we screwed? I don't know. Can it happen here? If it does, the world is screwed.